The Off the Beaten Path Berlin Guide

Berlin Guide-01

My four month adventure in Berlin turned into a year and one day adventure,  for which I will be forever grateful. I really learned so much there not only in school but also about what I want out of life. I also spent my fair time exploring the city and exploring new things. I made a Berlin Guide for a friend one day and I have ended up giving it to over a dozen friends thus I thought I should just save everyone the hassle of asking me for it and post it online. This is not your mother’s Berlin guide, this is for the ones who have done the normal touristy things, or are just looking for good eats!

The Markets:

Thursday

  • Markthalle

(5? Maybe 6 till 10pm)

near gorlitzer. It gets packed, so don’t expect to find a place to eat sitting down but it’s still fun. I recommend the following booths:

Bao burgers: sweet pork belly with spices in a fluffy rice bun, it’s f***ing amazing. But too messy to actually share.

The hipsters that sell juice in the middle: delicious hand pressed apple juice with ginger. Expensive but good and help feed a hipster!

Erst Sahne or something: really good gluten free desserts that you can’t tell are gluten free. Think ritzy Italian cupcakes

The Brazilian place that does tapioca crepes. amazing. Both sweet and savory. I love the Romeo and Juliet one, it’s GUAVA!!! I love guava, so I always get it.

The ceviche place is also great, there are beers (gross) in the back left corner that are supposed to be good craft like ones. Whatever. I prefer the French guys in the middle that sell wine.

Spatlze guy. Also sometimes at Neue Heimat. In old van looking thing, not creepy, just good.

Sunday

  • Breakfast market 

At markthalle, same thing BUT BREAKFAST FOOD. UNTIL 4PM. And yes, I’ve been there at 3pm, still going strong.

  • Neue Heimat

So if taking the sbahn, exit right. Walk northish. Past the weird photo booths. Take right at sketchy potato dealer. Walk alllllllll the way to the end. It will have Christmas lights stating the name. There may be a 1 euro fee, whatever. Worth it.

Soooo buy a bottle of wine because it’s more cost effective, duh. Still expensive. Ugh.

Find the hipster potato/pumpkin guys. Their signs are in brown with white lettering and they have lamps. Get the kürbis potato mash one, you want parm cheese. Share it with a friend because there is so much delicious food here you don’t want to get full on one dish.

Arapes guys – chorizo one, yummy! But too messy to share.

Pad Thai is good if you haven’t eaten enough of it already at all the “Asian” restaurants.

WHISKEY RIBS. Omg, yes. Find them! Sometimes outside.

Skip the oysters, not fresh. 

The people with the obnoxious ladies clad in lingerie for their backdrop have really good food, damn them. It’s like melted cheese on bread things.

Lady that sells dessert in little pots is the best.

Also there will be a Dj playing weird music and too many hipster but the food makes up for it.

Bars

  • There is a cool English pub under the train tracks at hack. Markt. If you get off the sbahn, walk to end by freid. Direction. It’s by the river. I think it’s called pug or something, they have a bunch of pugs. But what’s cool is that the tables have taps on them and you pay by how much you drink and so you can purchase like .23 l or something. You fill up how much you like. Their prosecco is passable.
  • Das Gift– another English/Scottish bar, THEY HAVE MY PATRON THERE! Monday’s they do trivia, I won once! Let’s go play! But good drinks. Hermanplatz or str, whichever is not the end station.
  • Krackenklucken…. I have no idea how to say this, it’s on top of the arcade in neukoln. Sweet view. The hut makes me feel like I need to be on acid, I’ve never been on acid but I think I would enjoy the trance music and crystals and lights more if on acid. Their only drink in the hut is a weird chai with rum or whiskey. Not my favorite, but it’s cool. Also you have to take off your shoes. The other bar is more normal. I say wait till it’s warm again.
  • Somewhere there is a gin bar. They only serve gin. It’s near Oberg stop. If you want more info, I can ask where I was.
  • Wienerie– my favorite! Every night starting at 8pm, it’s 2 euros for a glass, and then at the end you pay what you think you drank. Closes around midnight, but fun! Last semester, I had a standing date there every Thursday. It was a blast. Also if you get there early, they have food and I think it’s the same concept. It’s also been referred to as the communist wine bar. If you go and don’t invite me, I will be upset.  Rosenthaler is the nearest ubahn, also accessible from the m10.
  • Torsend– SECRET BAR. Google. Go. Drink, feel classy.
  • Monkey Bar – View from the top.

Brunch places

  • Cafe krone – recommend before mauer park/burneur str tour or after.
  • Parker Bowles – omg GO and GO NOW
  • Melbourne cafe – get the gingerbread hot chocolate. Hermanplatz thing again. Also do trivia on Tuesday nights.
  • Betty n’ catys – FRESH JUICES PEOPLE. LIKE REAL PRESSED JUICES. Also adorbs. Pberg.
  • Bastard berlin – small but amazing. Get the Chorizo and sweet potato thing (seeing a pattern?)
  • Roamers– tiny but delicious.
  • Aunt Benny – frankfurter alle or ostkreuz. Delicious also have lunch things.
  • Flamingo cafe – BEST SOUPS EVER. FRIEDRICHSTR . OMG.
  • That place next to hertie. Same street at Hertie if walking past where everyone smokes, it’s on the opposite side of the street- really good affordable lunch options. Menu changes daily but I’ve only had good things. Think soups salads and such.

Dinner/lunch

  • Yam yam – Korean food. Rosa luxa. Amazinggggg. I always get the bulgogi, really good. So are the fried dumpling things as an appetizer. Aloe vero to drink, obvi. I love the gummy things in it but I know some people can’t get over it. The nut milk tea is …. Different…. Also the alcoholic drinks are WEAKKKKKKK. don’t waste your money.
  • Transit- win stop off the u8 (or thereabouts) . Asian food tapas style. I spent 10 euros and was full. 3 small dishes at 3 euros each and 1 thing if rice. Seasonal drinks are great! Only thing is you need to make a reservation.
  • Hashi – Japanese restaurant recommended by Japanese man. Also tapas style. Really good! I have no idea what I ate but it was all great. The squid balls (terrible name) were good and the chicken things on sticks. Also good cocktails bit pricey and not strong. I had the one that was like a bad giesha or something, I felt awkward ordering it but it was yummy.
  • Thai Place across the street before Transit. Google, figure it out. BUT LEGIT. Like teas in bowls legit.
  • Chickenberg-  soooo this is weird entry but if you ever just crave a rotisserie chicken and good fries, this is your place. Kotti. 5.90 for 1/2 chicken , fries, 3 pieces of veggies and a coke. Sometimes, I just want a simple chicken. Get the garlic sauce.
  • Santa Maria – ugh,  don’t try to go for taco Tuesday. Too busy but great lunch deal. 8 euros gets you a soup, drink, and 3 tacos. Done.
  • Ta’Cabron – y’all have been with me, I go there far too much.
  • Persepolis – really good restaurant off the U2. Middle eastern of some sort. Completely forget which country but delicious and so much food. Get the one with like raisins in the rice or something. Busy though, can get take out.
  • Soooo another option if you want to impress your gf with cooking but don’t know how or just like to try new things is kochhaus. It’s a grocery store that has 8 recipes with all the ingredients next to it. Like if the recipe calls for 1 tbsp of butter, you purchase 1tbsp of butter. It’s all premeasured for you. I’ve never had a bad meal from there. Plus cool kitchen gadgets. It’s just a cool place and I think there are three in berlin. http://www.kochhaus.de/

Things To Do

    • Mauer park – make fun of hipsters and eat the damn potato on a stick, best 2 euros ever spent, other than that glass at the weinerie.
    • Allied museum – yeahhhhh America!
    • Checkpoint Charlie museum – they have the things people used to escape the gdr, like a hollowed out surfboard or an air balloon. It’s cool.
    • Fernsehenturn – ehhh, it’s cool. Read the Wikipedia page first, it is the 4th tallest building in Europe. Buy ticket in advance, waiting in line is for peasants.
    • Kadewe– largest department store in continental europe. Go to the 5th floor and see the groceries and see how your country is defined. America is land of pop tarts, microwave popcorn and Swiss miss. Cute outside market some days. Walk down the shopping street and look at the big church.
    • SCHLOSSES ( pretty sure that’s not the formal plural, but whatever) – charlottenburg (don’t pay to take photos), Potsdam, there are so many!! And crowns everywhere!!!
    • Comedy in English! I’ve been to a ton of English amateur comedy nights that are really quite good! I like the fishbowl, and we are not gemused.
    • East side gallery – obvi.
    • Museum island– so much history!

PS I had the best Landlord Ever